It’s a Girl Thing

A few weeks ago I posted about a friend I’d lost because of Facebook drama. I put on a tough facade, but it was something that I really felt sad about. I’m not the kind of person that makes lots of friends easily, especially with women. My BFFis a woman, but she’s pretty atypical like I am. We’ve never actually fought. In fact, during the time we spent apart, there weren’t any real bad feelings, we’d just grown apart. When we got back together it was with the appreciation of what we’d been missing. It’s a relationship based on love, and not on competition or catty-ness. We both want to see one another happy, and have worked to help one another through our lives.

When Miss A and I became friends, I’d sincerely hoped to find this in her too. It was going well until the big blog escapade, but with all of the hullabaloo going on in our lives, emotions were just running too high. Not to mention, the problem with the internet as a means of social communication is that intention, inflection, and context are almost impossible to convey accurately.

Miss A just had her baby, and it was a real sadness for me that I was no longer a part of their lives. Little G loves Little A, and every time she asked for her it renewed my sadness. I’ve been a virtual stalker. I’ve been reading her blog, and trying to keep up with her life, because no matter how stubborn I’ve been, I care…a lot.

Recently we started corresponding again, and we’ve even made plans to see one another soon. I’m a little nervous, especially if she reads my blog. What if it brings it all up to the surface again? What if she gets mad that I shared it all with the world, even though I didn’t use real names? What if the friendship we’d had has disappeared altogether?

I asked for advice from people I trust, and they told me that this is how girlfriends work. Sometimes they fight. Sometimes they fight for super stupid reasons, say ridiculous shit to each other and then make up without talking about it. I have to say it makes me feel uncomfortable to ignore an elephant, but sometimes it is best to put it all away. I think one of my biggest issues is in separating friends from family.

With a family as large as mine, and strict parents, growing up my only friends were my cousins. I mean I had one or two outside friends here and there, but I never slept over anyone else’s house or went to high school parties. It just wasn’t allowed. So now when I make friends, I can’t help but to bring them into my family fold. For the most part that kind of thing has worked out for me, but sometimes there is actually a separation between the two categories. Is this that kind of thing?

How do you do it all? Do you have a separate space in your mind and in your heart? Where do the lines get drawn? Comment here and teach a Bizzaromom a thing or two.

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