The Bizzaro Blueprint- The Road to Super Mom

If you’re anything at all like me, you have serious Super-Mom envy. Perhaps you’ve even uttered the words, “how does she do it?” when you arrive at the home of a Super Mom, and everything is impeccably in it’s place. Toys are organized alphabetically, and the darling children curtsey upon your arrival, ready to recite the Declaration of Independence and Dr. King’s “I Have a Dream” speech, at only two years old. You bite your tongue as she wipes her slightly perspired brow before removing a tray of white chocolate chip cookies from the oven.

When you get home from this paradise, it’s like arriving on the site of a natural disaster. Last nights dishes are still in the sink, baskets of clean laundry are stacked haphazardly upon on another precariously close to the piles of dirty laundry you’ve meant to bring to the basement. The coffee table is hidden beneath the mess of late night snacks, early morning bottles, and junk mail you keep forgetting to toss. You’re scrambling to get your only child down for a nap to give you the time to…well with all the things that need to be done the only thing you really want to do is take a nap!

Is this your life? Are you easily 30 minutes late to anywhere you want to go? Does getting your child dressed involve looking through the clean laundry baskets? Does meal planning involve a stack of delivery menus? If so- you’re not alone.

When we took the plunge to become stay-at-home Mom’s none of us expected to be so severely bogged down by the minutia of it all. We really didn’t hear the answer to “how hard could it be?”. We imagine some kind of plush pillowed bliss involving a soccer game or two, and all kinds of frolicking with your baby.

I used to be a professional woman. I was meticulously organized at work. Everything not only had a place, but a label and an index too. Domestic duties, however, have never, EVER, been my strong suit. I despise dishes, and used to send my laundry out to be done- even then it would wait until the last minute when I’d bring three garbage bags filled with dirty clothes. Nowadays I struggle to balance being a mom, a housekeeper, a chef, and a virtual assistant, and rarely make it out of my pajamas. This is just not good for my daughter. With our in-house economy taking a bit of a turn since Big G embarked upon his new career path, we can’t really afford to take Little G to classes anymore, and I’m not the “just go to the park” kind of Mom. I need something specific to do. I started the year out trying to implement some “school at home” scheduling, but that petered off when things got hectic around the house.

But I’ve made a decision. I’m going to turn it around. I’m going to get it together, and you’re coming along for the ride. For the last few weeks I’ve been putting together a program I call “The Bizzaro Blueprint”. It’s a step-by-step process that will turn me (and you) from Messy Mother to Super Mom. I invite you all to take this journey with me, and give me feedback on what works and what sucks about the process.

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